Goals, Goals, Goals… (a quick update)

photo (52)

Reaching for your goals can be tough… especially in a suit.

Way back in January, I made a brief blog post about why goals are so much better than resolutions.  I haven’t written anything for the internetz since.  I went as far as to include five realistic goals for this year. (I guess I can be thankful writing wasn’t one of my goals)  They are:

1.  Be more positive in everything I do.

2.  Eliminate all unsecured debt.

3.  Take another real vacation

4.  Run a half marathon this year

5.  Being Mario Mendoza

So how am I progressing on these goals?  Well, I’ve made progress on all goals and after this weekend, I should have two of them completely marked off the list.

1. Being more positive in everything I do

The first goal on my list is more subjective than objective and can be difficult to measure.  It is the most resolution sounding goal on my list.  I honestly haven’t found the best way to try and measure this goal. However, I wake up every morning and try and find the good in the world around me.  At the same time, I’m trying not to lose my objectivity when it comes to tough or problematic situations where being positive is not a realistic option.  When this happens, I try to focus my energy on finding a positive solution.  Often this involves asking myself the “miracle question” which is the key to Solution Focused Therapy. I’ve found it to be a tremendous help.  I actually used this approach in coming up with my short term and long term goals.

Current status:  On-going

2.  Eliminate all unsecured debt

I actually started making a concerted effort to eliminate all unsecured debt last year.  I’m very proud to say that I achieved this goal back in March.  It’s quite nice not having to pay interest on a credit card.  Now I’m actively starting to save all the money I was spending on paying off my credit cards to build a formidable savings account back up.  Then the next step after that is active investing…

Sorry goggles, not this year...

Sorry goggles, not this year…

Current status: Completed

3. Take another real vacation

I haven’t taken vacation yet this year.  I was tempted to take a ski trip, but I didn’t.  I’m pretty sure I’ll take a trip to the beach sometime in August.  If I could amend this goal, it would be to take an international vacation.  I’m working on that right now…

Current Status: In progress

4.  Run a half marathon this year

No caption necessary.  You can make up your own.

No caption necessary. You can make up your own.

My original plan called for me to run a half marathon sometime this far.  Right now I’m way ahead of schedule.  I’m signed up to run a half marathon this weekend in Homewood.  For those of you who have been paying attention, I’ve started logging some miles and distance the last several weeks.  I can thank the quicker than planned attempt at the half to my friends from the “Monday Runday” run group at Tin Roof.

Current Status: Soon, real soon…

5. Being Mario Mendoza

You’d think I would start shedding some serious pounds with as much running/working out as I have been doing.

What ludicrous speed may look like.

What ludicrous speed may look like.

I really haven’t.  However, my metabolism has definitely started to shift into ludicrous speed.  So I’m definitely eating more right now…  and I’m continuing to be Mario Mendoza

Current Status: Steady as she goes

So what does this all mean?  It’s about time to reassess and replace my completed goals with some new ones.   Like running, it all begins by putting one foot in front of the other…

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Too Heck with Resolutions… I’m all about Goals.

new years resolutionsNew Years was ten days ago.  I’m sure that most of you who are reading this made or at least thought of making the infamous New Year’s Resolution.  I’m betting many of you did. In the words of Dr. Phil, “How’s that working out for you?”

Its been my experience that resolutions are a waste of time.  They are often open ended, vague, and oral in nature.  Ultimately, the lack of attention to detail and the game plan to get there will lead to failure.  A prime example is “My New Year’s Resolution is to lose weight this year.”  That’s great that you want to lose weight!  But how are you going to go about losing it? How much weight do you want to lose? You see the problem here folks?  There is nothing quantifiable and its just really a statement.  I’d like a million dollars. However, without goals and a detailed game plan to achieve those goals I’m just as likely to get my million dollars as you are going to lose weight. That’s not to say that making resolutions is a bad thing, but it is only the beginning of the process.

With that said, I’m going to share some of my goals with you for this year. I’m not going into all the detail behind them, but putting them in writing is one of the bigger parts of any goal setting process…

Everybody loves a winner...

Everybody loves a winner…

Goal 1: Be more positive in everything I do.

I know that seems vague to those on the outside and goes against everything I just criticized several paragraphs before.  Honestly, this is more like a resolution, but I’ve made it into a goal.  When I was younger, I was an optimist.  When I looked at a bad situation, I could find the silver lining or something positive in almost any situation.  As I have gotten older, I’ve become more of a realist.  It has its pluses and minuses, but I’ve noticed that I to focus too much on the negative, which is often the exception.  I’m trying to be more encouraging and positive in everything I do.  It just fits me better as a person.  I’ll measure the success of this goal by the quality of company I keep.  Nobody likes being around a Debbie Downer… except for Depressed Darrell.

I'd still keep one...

I’d still keep one…

Goal 2: Eliminate all unsecured-debt

I had this goal last year and made significant progress against it until some unforeseen circumstances came along… like a week long cruise to the Caribbean that I hadn’t properly planned for.  I’m still using the same game plan I’ve had on this one for awhile.  I expect my tax return to wipe the last of it out.  This will allow me to…

Goal 3: Take another real vacation

If it is one thing I regret I haven’t done more of  it is traveling.  I’m still working on some ideas for something fun to do and this will be an evolving goal.  I expect a good week long summer trip that doesn’t involve the beach.  I’d love to get out of the country and go somewhere exotic, like Georgia.  Although I do plan to take a week long trip to the beach as well.

Hey, it worked for Simon Pegg...

Hey, it worked for Simon Pegg…

Goal 4: Run a half marathon this year

Ah, so here is a very easily measurable goal!  It will take some work to get there, but I’ve got the beginning of a game plan.  Right now I run anywhere from 4 – 10 miles a week.  I’m planning on gradually stepping that up and working it in with my Crossfit even more.  That means physical activity 4 – 5 times a week.  Building endurance is the name of the game and both activities will benefit each other.  I’ve set a November deadline for this activity.

Goal 5:  Being Mario Mendoza

I am Mendoza. My line:  You do not cross.

I am Mendoza. My line: You do not cross.

Being what?!?  Last year I set a goal to get my weight below the “Mendoza Line” or 200 pounds for those of you who don’t understand my baseball rhetoric.  I broke it only to recross it over and over again last year.  I blame my coach Mark Smith and Trinity Crossfit for that.  Where I might not have lost the weight, I definitely lost the fat.  My weight has stayed consistently between 200 – 208 range for the past several months.  Instead of trying to limbo under that Mendoza Line, I’ve decided to be one with it.  However, I still want to tone up some more…

Well these were just some of my goals for 2013, what are yours?

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A Year Later…

Yesterday it had been one year since my last surgery.  Trying to remember anything from the first few months following surgery are actually still foggy, but I remember almost everything from the day of the surgery.  I published my first blog post to this site attempting to explain things to some and clarify things to others.  If you have not read it, I recommend you click here before reading on or you might be a little confused.

So what is different a year later?  

Cosmetically, not much.  Unless you haven’t seen me in the last 15 years or so you wouldn’t notice really anything different.  My eyes tracking together has gotten better and that’s about it.

Mentally, everything is different.  The last 12 months I’ve my life have been the most interesting in my life.  To be honest, I only really remember about the last 10 of them.  The first two after surgery are really just a blur at this point.  For those of you who know how much I love my memory, its rather frustrating not being able to remember big chunks of two months of your life.  Before I get any further tangents, I’ll try answer some questions.

Why is everything “mentally” different? The world just looks different.  When things looks different, you perceive and process it differently.  In the past, things returned to “normal” several months after surgery.  This time it never did.  I can’t tell you if it is a good thing or a bad thing.  It’s just different.

Does this bother you?  It is more frustrating than anything else.  I’m not sure if it is the new “normal” and things are truly better or something is truly wrong.  I lean very heavily towards the new “normal.”  I feel like my peripheral vision is better and that things are better.  However, my mind is taking a lot longer to adjust to these changes.  Hence the reason why everything is “mentally” different.

What is “normal” to you and why would it have changed? or Why do you not remember much from after the surgeries? I had two separate eye surgeries within four months of each other.  After each prior past surgery I had periods of times to adjust and develop a new “normal.”  I don’t think I ever fully recovered or adjusted from surgery number six before I had surgery number seven.  So when I had both eyes operated on last December, it changed everything.

I don’t remember many details from last January and February, but what I do remember is everything being very different after the surgery.  It was like everything was “out of place” and things looked very “surreal.”  An good analogy would be it was like looking at the world through someone else’s glasses.  To be honest, it still feels very surreal right now when I start thinking about it.  It was like my mind was having a very difficult time trying to understand and process what it was seeing.  It’s gradually improved or either I’ve just gotten used to it.

Why would having eye surgery mess with your memory? We perceive the world through our senses.  Most people rely on what they see and what they hear the most.  Most of the way my memory functions is tied to sight.  Changing the way I see things also seemed to change the way I processed and stored memories.  It caused a “hiccup” in my process.  The mind is a powerful thing and has seemed to adjust to the new settings.

Are you done with surgeries? I don’t know.  Right now I don’t feel like the issues I’m experiencing are something that can be fixed with a scalpel.  I feel like they are cognitive.  I saw the world a certain way for 32.5 years.  I obviously feel like I see it differently now and I’m still relatively new to it.  For the time being, I’m sticking to my mantra of Patient Time.

What’s next?  Patient time… and a brand new season of Archer on January 17th!

If you have any questions feel free to post them in a comment or just ask!  Thank you for reading.

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The Challenges of Staying Regular…

Those who have known me for a majority of my life would tell you I had two gifts growing up… drawing and writing.  The last piece of art that I produced was completed in May of 1998 and hopefully still hangs on an old friend’s wall in Hoover.  The last piece of composition that I produced that wasn’t a school assignment was July of 2000…  That was until July of 2011 when I wrote my first “Tails From the Road” piece for a new blog I had started.

Looking back at it now, I find it hard to believe that I went eleven years without composing something of meaning or importance outside the classroom.  It really makes me sad when I think about all the things I could have or should have written about.  I might have to slowly start telling some of those stories over the next several months.  As for the art, I still haven’t picked up the pencil and started drawing…  I’m not sure I ever will.

Today’s challenge is staying regular when it comes to writing and blogging.  I’m sure several of you opened this blog expecting something different because of my mother and her special tea… but that’s a story for another time.  Last year, I composed all the material for the now defunct Tiger Tail Team website.  Every week, I wrote a story about the prior weeks adventures as well as my weekly predictions. I pretty much did all the writing. However, they certainly wanted to read everything before I published it (which is understandable).  What I did not appreciate was one of the particular people wanting to act as an editor on anything and everything I published.

The whole process got extremely exhausting.  I was gone every weekend.  I spent Sunday afternoons and Monday nights writing a 2000 -2500 word “Tails From the Road” piece.  Then on Thursday, I would compose a 1500 – 2000 word politically incorrect prediction piece.  Averaging 4000 words of composition a week for a hobby took its toll.

The first week of the tiger tail team website,  it got a little over 200 hits on the pieces I produced.  I got very excited.  Two weeks later, that number was over 2000 hits.  By the end of the season when I stopped, it was closer to 3000 hits a week.  All told, the website got over 16,000 visitors in about a three month period.  My stories ran concurrently on another website as well.  That blog produced a staggering 60,000 hits last year.

By December, I was burned out.  I had some amazing adventures, but those I was involved with did not share the same dream or vision for the venture that we had started together.  We have since gone our separate ways.  One day I will take the time and explain that story, but part of it is still playing out.

One of the best things to come out of the whole adventure/ordeal was that I had rekindled my passion for writing.  I started this blog which you are reading shortly before the new year.  The challenge has always been to find something that interested me enough to sit down and write.  I’ve updated it on a very irregular basis, but I’ve kept it much more personal.  I’m planning on keeping it that way…

This last summer, I decided I wanted to continue to still write about college football.  Looking back through the old websites statistics, I discovered that the predictions part of the website were popular among people from other teams (“Tails From the Road” was very much an Auburn thing).  They would read the “Tails From the Road” story that involved their team, but they would keep coming back for the weekly predictions.  One of my goals was to write to a wider fan base than just the Auburn one.  Writing a weekly predictions for all SEC teams would provide me with an avenue to do so.  The predictions were one of my favorite things to write, hence www.jppredicts.com was born.

I can’t tell you the amount of time it takes that goes into the predictions every week (actually I can).  It’s very time consuming and at times, there are a thousand other things I would rather be doing.  The challenge is to produce something that is humorous, doesn’t cross too many invisible lines, and some how remains accurate.  It’s not as easy as it sounds.  I’ve picked up a couple of friends along the way to help me along this adventure (Ash and Honest Abe).  I’m not sure where it is going, but it continues to grow.  Many of you who read this post also read the politically incorrect predictions.  The best thing you can do to help us is to like our Facebook page and “share” and “like” our posts and stories.  It helps us grow and we want to keep growing.  By doing so you can help us stay regular when it comes to posting new material.

Until next time…

Posted in Incoherent Thoughts, Musings, Ramblings, Random | 4 Comments

Cause I’m somewhere in the middle of this…

It’s been my belief that you show more about yourself and your character by how you handle adverse or undesirable situations, especially when there appears to be no-win solutions.  It is in these moments that are principles, ethics, and what constitutes our moral fiber is challenged.  We often define who we are and what we hold most dear by how we respond.  Is it our reputation, family, friends, justice, beliefs, dignity, self-worth?  Regardless of what we choose, we will try and justify our decisions (rational or not) in an effort to make ourselves feel better.

The last several months, I have been confronted with quite a few of these situations… stacked one on top of another.  None of these situations were directly related to one another, but they were all extremely taxing in their own different ways.  The one thing in common is that they all affected me in some form or fashion.  Quite frankly, the last couple of months have been some of the most challenging times of my life.

To talk about any one of the numerous situations in detail in this forum would be inappropriate and would not achieve anything except to further fan the flames or re-stoke the embers that some have since died down… which is not my intention.  To say I’ve spent a great deal of time reflecting on it all is an understatement.  In every one of the situations I had to ask myself what I really wanted, what I thought was right, and what I believed.  They often did not add up and I was put in the position of having to make difficult choices.

So I made choices, not knowing what the results of these choices would be, but hoping for the best.  I know I can’t make everyone happy nor justify my decisions to everyone.  But in the end, I’ve had to make choices that I would be able to wake up and look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed of the person looking back at me.  Through this whole process, I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I value.  The challenge is always doing what I feel to be the right thing, even if it comes at a personal cost to me…  I feel like sometimes it is a reminder that the right decision is often not the easiest, nor the likeliest one most people will take.   In the end of it all, I’m the same person I was before.  I’m just a bit wiser and maybe a bit more seasoned…

I’m still a deeply caring and passionate human being and for those who have spent any deal of time around me, I hope my actions reiterate this point.  At the same time, I’m not perfect.  I make mistakes and you might not always like the decisions I make.  Sometimes I’m right, sometimes I’m wrong.  In the end, I just want to be happy…  and I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s chance at happiness to achieve my own.

The choices I have made have come at a cost.  Every choice I’ve made has been met with consequences… some of them I have expected, others I have not.  It has never been my intent to hurt others are cause anyone else pain.  Undoubtedly, it has happened.  For that I am sorry.  I have had to remind myself that I have been down a similar road before when it comes to making hard choices… and the sun did keep rising in the East.  I’m pretty sure it will rise tomorrow.

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Your Time, Your Heart, and Your Dues…

Jim Methvin presenting me with the Alumnus Loyalty Award last night.

These are the prepared remarks I gave last night at the University of Montevallo’s National Alumni Assocation Award Banquet…

Let me begin by saying I am truly honored and humbled to be standing in front of you right now.  I’d like to thank the University of Montevallo National Alumni Association for presenting me with this award.  I look out into the crowd and see people who I look up to as role models and mentors, and I many of you I call friend.

Before I get to my prepared remarks, there are several people out in the crowd who I feel need special recognition and I want to say thanks.   Without them and their support, I would not be standing in front of you today.

Jim Methvin.  Jim, you’ve been a mentor and a friend.  My only regret is I didn’t know you when I was in college.  It sure would have made my life easier at times.

Dr. Susan Vaughn.  Thank you for always supporting me, yet challenging me.  It has meant more to me than you may ever know.  For those of you who don’t know, Montevallo has the top undergraduate social work program in the state.  It did when I was in school, and Dr. Hitchcock, Dr. Newell, and Jeannie Duke are continuing on that tradition.

Last but certainly not least, my family who is sitting right in front of me.  I don’t have time to thank you enough for all the love, support, and guidance you have given me.  They are an amazing support network and I would like to introduce them to you.

Ryan Matson.  Ryan is my childhood best friend.  My Montevallo story doesn’t begin if not for you.  I’m so thankful that you got to choose Montevallo to continue your story.

Jason Booi.  My big brother when I got to Montevallo.  I’ve learned so much from you and your family.  Five years from now we will look back at this moment and smile my friend.

Jamie Purvis.  My older brother who has watched over me far more than I realize at times.

Dad, you’ve always been there when I’ve needed you and given timely advice. It is still very much appreciated.

Mom, you are a social worker at heart.  You never gave up on me, even after the doctors and other “professionals” did when I was a child.  You didn’t take no for an answer.  Thank you.

The story I want to tell you today comes from my time as a student and advisor to my fraternity.  One of the things required of a pledge was to get an interview from every member of the organization.  One of the questions they had to ask is “What do I owe the fraternity?”  My answer for over a decade was always the same.

Your time, your heart, and your dues.  Your time because you are going to get out of this organization exactly what you put into it.  Your heart because if you don’t give it your all, you are just wasting your time and mine.  Your dues because where friendship is free, insurance is not.

I’ve taken this same philosophy when it comes to being an alumnus of Montevallo.  I give my time, my heart, and my dues.  I volunteer my time and help when and where I can.  As for my heart, let’s just say I have no shame supporting Montevallo.  I really do give it my all.  The purple suit has been probably one of the worst kept secrets.  Last, but not least, I pay my dues.  I was afforded many opportunities to further my education at Montevallo by alumni who gave to the social work program so that I could attend conferences and network as an undergraduate.  I feel fortunate that I am able to help afford students the same opportunity now.

I don’t have to tell anybody in this room what a special place Montevallo is.  You all already know it.  I know I’m speaking to the choir in here, but my challenge to you is ask yourself am I giving my time, my heart, and my dues to help further the mission and vision of Montevallo?  By giving of these things you make students, professors, staff, and administrators lives a little bit easier.

In closing, I would like to thank you once again for honoring me with the Alumnus Loyalty Award.  Thank you from the whole of my heart.  Now may I live up to the honor that you have bestowed upon me…

Posted in Musings, Ramblings, Story Time | 1 Comment

May You Live Up to the Honors Bestowed Upon You…

Twelve years ago, I was named to the First Team All Alabama Academic Team representing Jefferson State.  I underwent a rigorous nomination and application process to be named to the team.   A lot of good things were said and written about me.  I was treated to an awards banquet at the Wynfrey Hotel and I even had my picture in the Birmingham News.  Being named to the team opened up many doors for me.  It was through this process that I would eventually end up spending the following summer in Washington, D.C.

The phrase that has stuck with me since that time was not something that was never written in a nomination letter or put in the application packet.  ”May you live up to the honors bestowed upon you.”  It is a phrase that my uncle Doug used after I received word that I had been named to the team.  It stayed in the back of my head the rest of that Spring as I continued to receive honors, awards, and scholarships.

Not the award I’m receiving.

It has always been a humbling phrase reminding me that there is still work to be done.  Enjoy the moment, but don’t rest on your laurels.  I’ve always taken it as a challenge.

Tonight, I will be going back to another award banquet after being nominated and selected for a very prestigious award by the University of Montevallo National Alumni Association.  I feel truly honored and humbled to be recognized by the university I fell in love with twelve years ago.  At the same time, I feel overwhelmed and unworthy of such a prestigious award.  The challenge still remains, “May I live up to the honors bestowed upon me…”

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THOU SHALL NOT WORSHIP FALSE IDOLS

At 9 a.m. Monday morning, the NCAA dropped a bomb on State College, Pennsylvania.  People are going to needlessly argue for years whether or not the NCAA overstepped their bounds by levying penalties.  I’m sure you can go to many different news outlets to support what side of that equation you believe.  I’m not here to argue about that today.

Edmund Burke once famously quipped, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”  That is what happened at State College in 1998 and 2001 that ultimately led to the NCAA’s verdict today.  It had nothing to do with the young men playing football today, but everything to do with those who were chosen to lead them.  Because Joe Paterno and others did not speak up and do what was right in 1998 or 2001, Jerry Sandusky was able to continue to prey on children for many more years.  He chose to help cover up the crimes to protect the things he held most dear, his prestigious football program and legacy.

In the end, I’m sure he thought these things that had been swept under the rug and would never see the light of day.  If it weren’t for outside incidents off the State College campus, they might have stayed hidden.  Joe Paterno would have stayed a celebrated man for doing things “the right way” and rode off into the sunset.  Instead his legacy is irreparably damaged and all his record setting feats are now vacated.  It is as if Joe Paterno became the tragic character Faust; who sold his soul to the devil to achieve greatness only to be undone in the end.

The now infamous Joe Paterno statue was removed on Sunday by Penn State University.

Until November of last year, Joe Paterno stood for everything that was right in college football and college sports for that matter.  He was worshiped by his own fan base and greatly admired by everyone else.  He already had a statue celebrating everything he did for his beloved program outside Beaver Stadium.  In the end, Joe Paterno was really like the rest of us… a flawed individual.  In his lifetime he was put upon such a pedestal that I think he truly believed in his own greatness.  You don’t have to look any further than his family’s tragically sad efforts to protect and restore his now tarnished legacy to see it extended beyond him.  If Joe Paterno was alive to day, he would be facing perjury charges and likely jail time.  His estate is likely to disappear in the rash of lawsuits certain to be brought from the abused.  In the end the message is simply this… THOU SHALL NOT WORSHIP FALSE IDOLS.  I wish his family would take that lesson to heart.

On a softer side…

I’ve decided to bring back JP’s Politically Incorrect Predictions this year as it’s own website.  With some help from my friends, it will be up and going in about a week.  I’ve set a tentative launch date of August 1st.  There is currently a facebook page that you can get to and like by clicking here.  You can also find the twitter handle for this new endeavor    @jppredicts  For those of you who are wondering what are “politically incorrect predictions,” here is a link to last years bowl blowout.

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The Unauthorized Autobiography of a Former Washington Intern: The Fascist Cleaners

I’ve fallen a little behind my timeline in the last week, but I’ll catch up here soon. Here is the third Washington Brief that I wrote in its original form. Of course I’ll have some more insight after the original brief. It is from June 12 or 13, 2000. Enjoy!

The Washington Briefs #3 (In our second week!)

It’s that time again… (The time I feel like writing.)

As stated in the subject, this is issue number three of the Washington Briefs. That means if you haven’t recieved the first two issues that the United States Postal Service is running behind, or it might just be your ISP.

This brief begins right where it left off from last time… Saturday Night. Saturday Night was very special for me… not because it was my last hours as a minor, but because I had to dress up like I was going to work to go to Club Zei. I had to wear a white dress up shirt because I had taken all my other shirts to the fascist cleaners on Pennsylvania Avenue. But I’ll talk about that in a minute. The clubs of D.C. put anything that I’ve seen in Alabama to shame. Club Zei is considered an average club up here and yet it was four times better then the Studio in Birmingham. After spending three and a half hours dancing at the club the group of interns returned to the dorm. The building manager, Rachel, and I went up to the roof and preceded to watch the sun rise.

For those of you who are curious… The Alabama Shot Glass holds approximately 110 fluid ounces. That’s about all I remember from that encounter…

I also got a “small” shot glass for my birthday. Some of you have been lucky enough to see the pictures of the “Alabama Shot Glass.” Needless to say, I had a wonderful experience for my twenty-first birthday. Now the next big date is twenty-five. If your asking yourself “twenty-five?,” think about car insurance. It is when the lucky ones get moved out of high risk. I think I have a better shot of winning the Alabama Lottery then being so lucky to be moved out of high risk.

Now the part all of you have been waiting on… THE FASCIST CLEANERS. Alright, so I lied. They are really just a bunch of capitalists trying to make their fair shake in an expensive town. Now for the reason that I call them THE FASCIST CLEANERS. They charged me $22.42 for four shirts and one pair of pants. That is expensive, but what makes it bad is the fact that they had more filth on them when they were returned to me then when I gave the shirts to the cleaners. So now I wait patiently on a steamer…

In the last issue I also mentioned that I would be talking about my surprise birthday party. In my twenty-one years I can not recall anyone every really surprising me on my birthday. In fact, I was fairly sure that the Phi Theta Kappan interns were going to throw me a surprise birthday party because I ran across a large banner that said, “Happy Birthday.” The banner was misleading (and apparently not for me). The party never materialized. However, I was pleasantly surprised Monday afternoon at America’s Promise by the staff. They caught me completely off guard in the early afternoon with a cake and lemonade. Kudos to them for pulling it off.

Well that concludes this issue of the Washington Briefs except for the “Real World” update. The group of Phi Theta Kappan interns is very diverse. There are at least six different ethnicities that exist within our group. Most of us (the group) are well adjusted to different ethnicities, but there are several who are still learning. It makes for interesting experiences (and interesting cuisine!).

Thank you for reading (I’m assuming you are hitting the delete key!) and have a fantastic day!

Jeff Purvis (Assistant to the editor)

I already visited the whole turning twenty-one subject in my last blog and the cleaners and “Real World” sagas will continue on in later additions. So, I’ll skip any further rehashes. On the Monday after I turned twenty-one years old, the staff at America’s Promise through a birthday party for me. It was nice and completely caught me off guard. The real funny story begins at 4:30 when I got off work.

Being of age has its perks, like being legally able to buy alcohol. At this time of my life I didn’t care much for beer… I was a liquor man. Luckily for me, the closest liquor store could been seen from the window across from my cubicle. After work, I ventured across the street to it. I felt like a kid in a candy store! There were all these different type of liquor that I didn’t know existed. I only spent thirty minutes in the store, but I spent close to two hundred dollars on liquor to haul back to the dorm. I wanted to play mad scientist.

What my broken bottle might have looked like if I drank cheap Canadian Whiskey… but I have standards.

I remember the two bags full I carried were heavy and unforgiving in that late afternoon June heat. I walked the long way (safe way) back to the Metro station. I was extremely careful because of all the glass. I made it all the way back to the lobby of JBKO Hall without incident. Then some how, some way, a bottle of liquor found the tile floor of the lobby and exploded. Damn you Godiva Chocolate and your expensive liqueur! I don’t know what was more embarrassing; dropping a bottle of liqueur in the dorm lobby or having all people realize you are spending more money on booze than food. With a little bit of help from my friends (You will always make friends when you have the booze), I was able to clean up the mess and get the rest of my bags up to my room. That night I had several people drop by the room to say hey. I have a feeling they were looking for booze. So any guesses on what the other seven bottles of liquor were?

Next time: The Cleaners Strike Back or Looking Eye to Eye with a General.

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The Unauthorized Autobiography of a Former Washington Intern: Last Day in the Minor Leagues…

Most people cannot recall what happened to them on their twenty-first birthday.  There are usually two reasons why: alcohol, shame, or sometimes both.  People are usually surrounded by their friends enjoying the last real right of passage next to getting married.  Your friends are supposed to show you a good time and look out for you.  They are supposed to be a safety net.

Most people will tell you about their twenty-first birthday, but they wouldn’t dare write about it or commit it to paper.  They really wouldn’t do it if they thought there might be a chance that family members would read about it.  What would they say if they knew that some of the first people to read about it would be their parents?  I guess I’m about to find out…

But before I begin, here is the Briefs from June 10, 2000… the day before my twenty-first birthday.  I finished them and emailed just prior to going out on the town for my birthday.

The Washington Briefs #2

This is issue number two of the Washington Briefs.  The Phi Theta Kappa group no longer resembles a group of interns, but more of a group on MTV’s Real World.  By Friday afternoon, we had several females at each others throats over minor issues.  Problems are still occurring, but we’ve given up hope on the dreams of a Utopian society in the JBKO Hall.  My only question now is does anyone have MTV’s number?

Some of my readers complained that I wasn’t delivering “juicy” enough information about Washington, D.C.  My response is that I’m saving it for my tell all book to be written after this summer.  So buy the book!  Now on to my life in D.C. and my roommate…

My roommate’s name is Matt and he is from Kansas City, Missouri.  Matt is a journalism major and can be quite cynical at times, but not in a bad way.  I hope to be lucky enough to have a roommate like Matt in Montevallo this Fall.  We probably get along better than any other set of roommates with the Phi Theta Kappa group.

Now on to America’s Promise…  The staff at America’s Promise is for the most part the post-college crowd (as in graduated in the last five years).  It is a very inviting environment and reminds me sometimes of the ESPN office (Well, at least the commercials on ESPN portray).  The only thing free for me on this internship is provided by America’s Promise… and that is lunch.  Lunch is delivered every day at noon.  Lunch time is probably the most interesting time of the day.  It’s the time of day when the massacre begins.  It is when the scout spots lunch, then the calvary charges in and leaves no prisoners.  It reminds me of my early days filing when the clock hit 10:45 a.m.    You never wanted to get caught in the hallway.  Next issue I will talk a little more about the staff…

Now onto tonight…  Tonight I leave my dorm as a minor and comeback as a legal adult.  In other words, at midnight, I turn twenty-one.  yes, that means no longer getting the X’s on the hand at a dance club.  That also means that the rest of D.C. land opens up to me.  Well I will leave with this…have a wonderful week and wish me safe passage tonight!

Goodnight and Godbless…  Always, sometimes, but not necessarily,

Jeffrey A. Purvis

Next Issue I will talk about the Fascist Cleaners and my surprise birthday party!

P.S.  Happy Birthday Carolyn!

I had written most of this entry a couple of days in advance.  I’ve already touched on some parts of what was in the email in earlier posts.  I will explain the whole MTV Real World situation and go into more detail about my time at America’s Promise in later posts.  But for now, as promised, my twenty-first birthday in shameless detail…

Everybody looks forward to birthdays when they are young.  The younger part of the Phi Theta Kappan contingent was excited about my birthday.  Most of these people I had known less than a week.  However, a birthday is a great excuse to party.

The famous Eastern Market… One of my favorite places to visit in D.C.

My twenty-first birthday celebration began a day early with an afternoon visit to Washington D.C.’s Eastern Market.   On Saturdays, the Eastern Market hosted a very nice farmers’ market.  I would go back to this market several times during my stay in Washington to get fresh meat and vegetables.  On this particular day, I was on the hunt for a beer stein.  I wanted something large and manly from which to drink.  At this point we were not sure whether we were going out or partying in somebodies room.  Since I could not have my friends from back home, I wanted to have something unique as reminder of my special day.  After scavenging through the market, I found something that wasn’t a beer stein… but close. I paid ten dollars for my “find” and christened it the “Alabama Shot Glass.”

That evening I went out to eat with my new friend Jonathan from Texas.  Everyone else opted to eat back at the dorm.  Jonathan was a very quiet, reserved, and optimistic nineteen year old.  He had just completed Community College, but was trying to get an appointment to the Naval Academy.  We had spent several of the previous afternoons exploring Georgetown and eating at various local establishments.  The lack of a dependable, reasonably priced grocery store made cooking dinner less appealing and eating out more worthwhile.

The Red Lion: Famous for burgers and weird waiters…

We went to a local burger joint called The Red Lion just down the street from our hall.  I ordered a burger and beer.  When the guy ID’ed me you would have thought I had won the lottery.  At first I thought I was going to get in trouble because he kind of wigged out about the date on my driver’s license.  He was trying to do the math, but whatever illicit substance he was on kept him from doing it for a good thirty seconds.  He just kept glancing at my license then me.  He finally said, “Dude, this is going to be the most awesome night of your life!”  Every time he came back to my table he was giddy like a little school girl asking if I wanted another beer.  It turns out the guy wasn’t the brightest… he didn’t charge me for my beer and I my twenty-first birthday was still five hours away.  I still appreciated his enthusiasm and my free beer.  Dear mom and dad… this was the only time your son ordered and was served a beer underage.

That evening, I decided I wanted to spend my twenty-first birthday inside a dance club and not a dorm room.  I ruled out a bar because many of those who actually wanted to participate were not twenty one yet.  With the assistant of the hall director, Rachel, an 18 and up club was found approximately ten blocks away.  Rachel was so kind that she offered to personally take us there.

An old flyer for Club Zei. The Club closed down in 2001.

At 1o:30 p.m., around twelve us hopped on the Metro and headed to Club Zei.  It was located in an old power substation and had a strict dress code.  I felt like I was dressing for work when I was getting ready to go out.   We arrived at around 11 p.m. and began the process of waiting in line.  Around 11:45, we finally reached the front door.  The guy looked at my ID and began to mark me with those dreaded X’s.  I pleaded with the guy and he said I wasn’t twenty one yet.  I remember saying “Do you really think I can go inside, get drunk, and leave here in fifteen minutes?  I’m not that awesome…”  He laughed and gave me a wristband… and saved me ten dollars on the price of admission.  It only cost me fifteen instead of twenty five.

The club (no longer in existence) was one of the coolest I ever visited.  It was radiating energy (and probably pure oxygen) from the minute we walked in until we left.  On Saturday nights it hosted the Club Glow dance party.  The main room was a large atrium and the ceilings were around forty feet high.  On the side of the main dance floor were two additional dance floors… one on the second floor and the other on the third floor.

Prior to going to the club, everybody was saying how they were going to buy me a drink and how I wasn’t going to remember a thing in the morning.  It’s amazing how things change when you find out that even well drinks are ten bucks.  It turned from a get Jeff drunk party into every man and woman for themselves.  The first thing I did when I got inside the club was order myself a Long Island Ice Tea and then headed to the dance floor.

If you hang around me long enough, you will hear me talk about living in “moments.”  Every time I have gone to a dance club in the last twelve years, I’ve tried to recreate the feeling or the “moments” I had for the next three and a half hours on the dance floor at Club Zei.  Sadly, nothing else has ever come close to it.  The crowd was electric, the music was well mixed European Trance, and my friend Stani danced with me the whole night.  One of the things that the club did was have a cascade of bubbles floating from above onto the crowd.  Apparently, the chemicals in the glow sticks was mixed with the bubble mix.  When the bubbles burst, it sprinkled on the crowd.  So everyone was glowing… hence the name Glow Club.

I danced on the main floor for the whole three and half hour period except when I was getting a drink.  At the end of the night, there was only six or seven of us left at the club…  Rachel and I were the only ones not drunk.  The bad thing about being in Washington, D.C., after 2 a.m. is that the Metro no longer runs.  The other bad thing is being with broke, drunk interns who cannot afford a cab.  We walked the ten blocks back at 3:30 in the morning.

A pint glass (16 oz.) from Avondale Brewery… next to the “infamous” Alabama Shot Glass…

Walking ten blocks with drunk, loud people is entertaining and frustrating at the same time.  They wanted to talk to every person we passed.  Luckily, none of my “friends” were mean drunks and trying to start fights.  So most of the people they tried to talk to just played along and laughed in passing.  The only real situation occurred while walking through a park full of homeless people sleeping.  I can tell you from first hand experience that it is extremely funny, but sad to watch a homeless person “bitch out” a drunk party goer for interrupting their sleep.

We arrived back at JBKO Hall shortly before 4:30 a.m.  Rachel and myself got everyone back to their rooms and then went to the rooftop of the Hall.  From the top of the hall (nine floors up) you could see across the Potomac River and most of D.C.  We sat up there talking and laughing in lounge chairs for the next hour, waiting for the sun.  After watching her rise in the East, I went back to my room and slept until she began descending in the West.  To be honest, I actually don’t remember about my birthday because I slept through it.

Next Time:  The Fascist Cleaners…

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