Its been awhile since I checked in, but I have some legitimate excuses this time. I would like to thank everyone for your well wishes, thoughts, and prayers over the last several weeks.
I would be lying if I said the last three weeks have been enjoyable. I would also be lying if I said I’ve totally hated the last three weeks. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. I would have written sooner, but issues with my recovering vision and perception have made typing a bit queasy at best. Some of you are probably scratching your heads at that last statement so I will do my best to explain…
Every time I’ve had eye surgery they have worked on the muscles surrounding my eye. Some of the surgeries have involved as few as one muscle in one eye where the most aggressive one involved both eyes and a total of six muscles. This last surgery involved both eyes and three muscles. She originally only planned on working on two muscles… one on each eye. She made a judgement call to go ahead and work on the third muscle hopefully preventing surgery number eight.
However, the additional procedure caused me a great deal of stress as it initially made things much worse for me and not better. Unluckily for me, the third procedure has taken a lot longer to heal (this is somewhat expected) than the other procedure done on the same eye. This has kept my eyes from properly aligning which in turn has completely thrown my eyes and perception off. For about a week and some change things with my vision were very much touch and go. This in turn has led to lots of headaches and a very distorted, unreal world. It gets beyond frustrating when things fail to make sense when you know they should. For most people, their eyes are the primary way they perceive the world. Mine are no different in that function. In the end, the only thing I could do was wear an eye patch to keep my sanity.
Over the last four or five days things have started correcting themselves back to a more “normal” state. This has been in part due to healing and my brain trying to accept “global re positioning” of the eyes. In turn, I’ve started to try and avoid roadside ditches by losing the eye patch. I honestly expected this surgery to be the easiest yet it has been the most difficult. I’m not sure if it is because I’m older and more aware or my brain doesn’t like resetting itself. Slowly, but surely, the lights are starting to come back on. I’m trying to be positively optimistic that in the end, it will be much brighter than before. But for now… I’ll wait, pray, and be patient.
Final Thoughts on a First Impression 